die fborfw

*April and Liz, synchronized bed-lying*
From closet:"Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, hooo hooo hooo, hooooooooooo"
Liz:"Soooooooo, can you two just be frieeeeeeeeeeends"
April:"I think friends will work. A 16 yr old boy will be cool with being a supportive, platonic friend after getting his cock teased."
Liz:"As for me and Warren"
April, interjecting:"I didn't ask about you."

April:"I think we touched. I dunno. My ear is full of goo"
Liz:"Boys react to signals, April. Your lips have swelled like the swelling on the buttocks during oestrus that is common to all baboons in heat. All the Patterson girls and Deanna and Merrie have experienced this. Boys will be baboons"
April:"My body's changing all over. It's hairy down there"
Liz:"Yes, like a baboon"


April:"If you were, you know, penis and you, penis, would you penis?"
Liz:"I cunt say what I would do"

Warren:"I read this monthly letter from Mike, so I have to live up to it: 'Many evenings have been spent talking, just the two of us, just like fborfwlover and gretel, about life and love and "how do you know when someone is RIGHT for you"? I like her friend Warren, but he has no roots and no plans to place some. His work comes first. It's a well paid and sometimes dangerous job, but he loves flying and a helicopter pilot goes where the work is. If he cares for Elizabeth, it's not enough to give up what he does best, nor to give up his mole, though enough to trim his mullet. You can't give up this kind of love for the love of a whore, expecially a self-rigtheous cunt like my sistwerp. Kidding about the sistwerp part. Not when you're eager to see what's over the hill, what's next on the horizon.'"
Liz:"Oh well, my Gene Simmons like tongue is wasted on males anyways"

John:"Hello plump chinese looking man, at least in the 2nd panel. Eeeeeeee-ah!"
Buddha:"Hello boring John! Ya looking whipped as always, and fuckin boring. Play with your model trains or look at power tools? Wait, I don't give a fuck...Ow, Dixie is eating my nuts. Haha from the tree. No wait, now she's really eating my ball-sack"
John:"let's go inside, have a cup o joe, and do a few fuckin boring strips with puns as punchlines. Woohoo"

Reverend:"Why is there a chick standing beside me, dressed just like me?"
Chick Reverend:"Women are allowed to be Reverends. This ain't Catholic. We also ordain queers, transsexuals, intersexuals, dogs, tortoises, porpoises and fecal matter"
...
Merrie:"When does the Easter Bunny get nailed to the Cross?"
Mannequin Mike:"Right after the reading from the Gnostic Gospel of Judas, hon. See, it's in your pogram"
Deeeeeeee:"Next year, we'll attend mass in a movie theater, like Sarah neeeeeeeee Dowsley"

April, in breathy voice:"Oooops, I dropped my tampon. Let me bend over"
Gap-toothed boor:"Woah! Hoooooooooooooo, schweet potato pie!"
April:"This grate, the air coming through it, I can't keep my dress down"
Boor:"hooooooooooo, ho ho ho ho, hooooooooooo"
Gerald:"You're standing on top of solid floor...I told the guys, 'April gives good skullduggery, what a slam-pig'"
April:"Thank you, Gerald" *Smooch*
Boor:"Hoooooooooooooooooooooo...I gotta go to the dentist"

*April walks by, shirt buttoned up to the chin and shirt sleeves buttoned at wrist, tilley hat on with chin-strap, glasses pushed up tight to face, slight baring of buck-teeth, back-pack on with hands symmetrically grabbing the straps and a back-and-forth sway*
Elly:"April, hon, it's not really sunny out. Why don't you, say, unbutton the shirt a little, show a little cleavage??"
April:"Not a chance, mommy, there are dangerous UV rays with which to contend"
...
*Later, April is walking through the 'hood, where a couple hip-hop homies are sauntering along, ready for action in this dangerous 'hood. Then they see April*
Homie A with condescending bemusement/disgust:"awwwwww"
Homie B:"There's goes the neighbourhood"
*April looks back with slight concern, but then proceeds forward, buck-teeth baring just a little bit more*

Mike, package growing:"What was that?"
John:"That was April"
Mike:"No fuckin kidding, douche. That was allegorical, or maybe rhetorical"
April:"After getting touched by Gerlad, I blossomed"

April:"It's muh birthday an' I'm gay proud"
April:"Oooo, I grew Deanna lips last night"
...
Gerald:"I meant that in an allegorical sense, Sir"
John, with straight face in response to a cheeky remark, like Elly previously, and many many times previously, to comic effect:"Sounds good to me"
Gerald:"I mean in literal sense, you dumbass"
*April grinds the black dude, learns of the fabled black package*
...
Elly:"Well, it's been a tough haul. April had those zits for a couple days. That was tough teen stuff"