die fborfw

Wally my man, we're two peas in stinky pod. First the spooning, now the stink-masker, my eccentrities are not so eccentric after all.

Eva:"To the devil a daughter comes, 2000 worlds away-ay-ay, born to a lose the love you choose, destroy another day-ay-ay"
Grade 12 boys, in unison:"APRIL! 4 EVAH! APRIL! 4 EVAH!"
Rebecca:"Not only are they morally superior to me, they might end up performing better than me tonight. I guess loyaltly and humility triumphs in the end. I'm gonna expose their ringer and even sink lower morally. Then I'll beat the shit out of that window-licker"

Fan:"Will you perform tracks from your last EP?"
Rebecca:"IT WAS A FULL-LENGTH ALBUM, WHORE"
Fan:"You ARE a diva. I'm gonna save my cheers for the sincere, garage-band rock'n'roll of 4 evah and eva"
Shannon:"Good....."
April:"Thanks, idiot. Good to see they kept ya busy"
Shannon:"..counting...they..just said you're on in 3..2..1.., yet ...you.. are still...here..."
April:"Maybe we won't be famous, but we will be midriff-baring sluts"
Black Guitarist:"Yo, these cynical MTV-fed kids will love this sincere, garage-band rock 'n roll shiate."

Elly:"Shouldn't we have taken a cab?? I know for sure, I'm gonna imbibe"
John:"Whatever"
Elly:"Honey, please, put on your sealbelt"
John:"Don't NAG. Can we just go and have a good time and you not get all raggin on my ass"
Elly fumes
Partygoer:"What crawled up the Patterson's ass?? And why are they here anyways??"
Later, after driving home wasted
Elly, calling Grandpa Jim's wife:"Gueeeeeeeesssssssss whhaaaaaaaaa? We dddddrunkkkkk. ANd we donnnnn''ttt havvveeeeeee to takke care of dad's fucked up fucked!!!!!!! haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Fuckin Jews"

Phil:"Steaming cup o' joe please"
Elly:"It's sure nice how that thing with Grandpa worked out all swell without any messiness or our having to do anything eh?"
Meanwhile, downstairs:
Black guitarist:"Don't your Kraker uncle play pro, biotch?"
April:"Nah, like most pathetic people with music degrees, he teaches. He dabbles in contrabass flute, which also doubles as his bong."

Frigid Elly, while raising arm robotically:"We're so lucky to have Iris. We are so lucky. Lucky we don't have wipe his ass. Look on the bright side Phil, at least he's not dead, only a vegetable-brain. So how's Montreal??"
Hologram Phil:"It's hostee, tabernaque"
Elly:"AH AH AH AH AH AH"
Hologram Phil:"Yep, that about sums up la culture du quebecois, hostee"
Elly:"'SSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEE, AHHH AHHH AHHHA AHAHHA AHAHHA"


Iris:"It's good you came right away, Phil"
Hologram Phil:"Actually, I'm a hologram of Phil. Phil will come later when it's convenient for him. He has a vacation planned and doesn't wish to interfere with that."
Elly:"I'm a hologram too"
Iris:"No, you're not, just your soul is a hologram."
Hologram Phil:"Burn"

Iris:"I have to wait on you hand and foot, but at least you can't talk, so I don't have to hear your retarded ramblings. I'm rolling the dice that you can't understand me so I can verbally assault you. Last night, I dreamt of your rotting corpse and me above ground having a ball because you were no longer my ball and chain."
Grandpa Jim:"bllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"
Iris:"Elly's not gonna help because she's busy leading her own life and doesn't want to be saddled with you. Phil lives far away, but makes heroic efforts to cum."
Grandpa Jim:"ccccccccccuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

Mrs.Richards:"Like, surely!"
Phil:"This is the ventilator, eh? Oops oops oops oops, there it goes out the window"
Elly:"Oops oops oops oops, just stabbed him"
Zombie Emmy:*munch,munch*
Elly:"OOOOooooooowww, phil snuffed you, not me..........ooooowwwwwwwwww"

Elly:"If they return.....hahahahaha"
Liz:*looks on flabbergasted*
Elly:"What's with the flabbergasted look?? I just felt like laughing and it happened to follow my 'serious' comments about Grandpa. And what the fuck are you doing here, you're fborfwlover's age and you're living with your fuckin parents??"
Liz:*looks on flabbergbasted*
Elly:"Fuck you flabbergast"

Phil:"'poo? 'poo? 'poo? 'poo?"
Grandpa Jim:...............
Phil:"Nothing....btw, why is he still out in the hallway and why is his gown on backwards? Ewww, wrinkly balls"
Elly:"btw? Emmy needed the private room....Look at her cute little head."
Phil:"Awwww. But stupid cat, dominates topic of phone conversations."
*Phil puts a pillow to Emmy's head, snuffing out the cat*

Robin:"It's a whimsical fall day, is it not?"
Michael:"Fuck this shit, I wanna watch the Steelers and Jags."
Dee:"Language! I gotta pick up some cotton candy for supper."
Merrie:"Corn isn't readily digested by humans, and often emerges whole in our stools."
Robin:"Your dress is a psychedelic mess, mommie."

April thinks of Grandpa
April thinks of cock
April thinks of chink
April thinks of cock again


April to herself:'Wow, I've told my boyfriend and the negro, and they offer little consolation. But the token idiot girl can relate to my veggie grandfather. It take one to know one, I guess."


April:"So is it called Special Ed. now? I thought they changed it?"
Shannon:"They...are..running..low..on...euphemisms. In fact....they...are...soon changing to ... the original...designation...of..'Retarded...Scumfucks'"

Eva:"He's over 80, that's fuckin old. Anyhow, they can send him off somewhere to die slowly"
April:"Huh? Yeah. I just saw 'Rebecca'. Fuckin' bitch, preoccupies my thoughts."


Gerald:"The momster's gonna order some pizzaface."
April:"haha, you were looking at ol' pizzaface over there, eh? I was feeling a little shitty but nothing takes off the edge like making fun of pizzaface. HEY PIZZAFACE, I THINK I SEE SOME SKIN SEEPING THROUGH YOUR ZITS"
Some kids on the bus nervously laugh.
Rebecca:"I guess she's acting out because of her grandpa and all. I feel kinda bad for her."