die fborfw

April:"Is this right?? Then again, my sister lived with a dude, that slut"
Gerlad:"Baby, no more talkin. I'm hurtin"
April:"Lez keep the lights on"
Dixie:"Muff, muff, muff"

Gerald:"Oh yeah"
April:"Can you make it harder?"
Gerald:"Oh yeah"
April:"Can you make it harder?"
Gerald:"Oh yeah"
April:"Can you make it harder?"
Gerald:"Oh yeah"
April:"Can you make it harder?"

*Elly leans over and slips out the old man's wallet*
Elly:"hehehehehehehe"
....
John:"What happens when one of us is in diapers"
Elly:"I dunno, but if I get the disssssseeeeaseeeeeeeee, no more sex for you. And I'll hate your fuckin guts, and I'll tell you to your face:'I hate your fuckin guts'"
John:"I guess we'll have to fall in love all over again"
Elly:"Fat chance, asshole"

Crowd:"Get the fuck off the stage you lame, castrated motherfucker"
*Someone tosses a rock, hitting Mike in the forehead*
Butthead:"Uh huh huh...cool"
Weed's Japanese gf:"Same thing happened to Nickelback when they came onto stage at Scandanavian Metal festival. Just like them, Mike deserved. Ah-so! Ah-so!"
Weed: "Did we actually hire a band for this, our b.y.o.b.?"

*oink,oink,oink, as the eat at the b.y.o.b. trough*
Warren:"Why is every woman accompanied by a pig?"
Liz:"Rhetorical question, no?"
Warren:"Cops?"
...
Warren:"Weed shot these? I'd sure like to bag one"
Liz:"You know, that's actually an amusing play on words, for once"

2nd place, comicscurmudgeon. Okay, first place, but this is his full-time job, man:

Oh, really, Warren. Did you believe that you would be safe in your own head if you were trying to woo a Patterson lass? Did you believe that every stray synapse firing wouldn’t be held up against an impossible jury to find you unworthy? Did you think that we wouldn’t be able to see into your very soul? Clearly, you have shown that you cannot be allowed to marry Liz. The only one pure enough of heart is the Mustache, who begged her to wait for him right after she was almost raped, when he was still married. ONLY THE MUSTACHE IS COMPLETELY PURE OF MIND AND READY FOR THE AWESOME MAJESTY OF LIZ.

Which Patterson would you most like to have coffee with?
Thank you for your vote. Please click to return to the Strip Fix page.

5143 Votes
Elly - 1643 votes (31.9%)
John - 207 votes (4%)
Mike - 424 votes (8.2%)
Dee - 367 votes (7.1%)
Liz - 1733 votes (33.7%)
April - 431 votes (8.4%)
Jim - 216 votes (4.2%)

I voted Mike

April, on bed, in perfect view of Liz's bare derriere:"..."
April, grabbing Liz's ass:"..."
April, staring directly at Liz's boobies:"..."
April, sitting back in chair, being blown away by Liz's ass:"<3"

Oh yeah, Gerald an’ April are gonna be at home all by themselves. And they’re going to “practicing.” And I think you and I both know what they’ll be practicing. That’s right: they’ll be practicing talking like actual fifteen-year-olds, rather than robots programmed by a sixty-year-old to say things like “make some green,” “the kiddies,” and, of course, “practice.”

Window-licker:"Am I retarded?"
April:"Indeed. But don't worry, I can sugar-coat the definition. If you were a plane, you'd be missing an engine and some landing gear. You'd spin around in circles, then crash"
Window-licker:"I'd be missing an Indian?"
April:"I was gonna say we're morally superior to your taunters, but then you had to get all racist"

April:"My sis and me are totally not getting along. Today she called me window-licker"
Shannon:"It's...better..than.being.called....picky..face"
April:"Ha! Tricked ya, ya window-licker. So who's your teach?"
Shannon:"Ms. Gretel. She sucks, but her E.A. Debbie's gotta nice rack"
April:"You're speaking more like a picky face now than a window-licker"

Liz:"Don't be such a picky face"
April:"Fuck off. You have tons of cellulite, a big fuckin bush, a snotty face and your shit can be smelled a mile away. And your an engine reject. Fuck you"
Liz:"I'm gonna whoop your ass like Gretel on fborfwlover in winter 1990-1991 in the temporary residence in Elliot Lake before moving...Hey, get back here and let me whoop your ass"

pixie-cute Deeeeeee:"Elly, what in heaven's name are you doing?"
Elly:"Shaving my couch's pussy lips"
Spunkyyyyyyyyy April:"Where's the razor? I wanted to do some cutting of myself"
Elly, yelling:"Oh for heaven's sakes. Let me shave my pussy in private"
John:*sip,sip* "Mmm, good cup o' joe"

April:"You see you don't have to live like a refugee"
Taco Bell Dog:"Tom Petty, very good"
April:"Ah man, are we gonna get some 'spic refugee story?? I already love wihndow-lickers, aint that enough?? An' can't we do something a little controversial - like anti-abortion rants or something"
Taco Bell Dog:"Actually, I support abortion if it can get rid of the likes of you"

Mike:"Your pussy's good. It's good!"
Deanna:"Oh fborfwlover, you big-dicked bastard!"
Mike:"Big-dick eh? Sweet"
Deeeeeeeeeee, thinking:"Whew, close one"
....
Deeeeeee:"Oh Emma, I love spooning you"
Mike:"My ass is spoon-alicious"
Deeeeeeeee:"Whew, close one"