die fborfw

Iris:"Can you give me a perscription for a step-daughter who can do more than say 'Gee, it's good Iris can do all the work?? And I need a perscription for hugs"
Doc:"Actually, she's your uncle. And don't be an idiot, there is no hug perscription. I should mention that in addition to a frigid, frigid Elly, Elizabeth and Jim have been telepathing about how much of an overbearing bitch you are. I can telepath too"
Iris:"I'll kill them both"
Doc:"Easy, Iris. Try maiming. More business for me"

Doc:"Fortunately I am telepathic. Let's communicate"
Jim, telepathing:"Doc, your face is serene and knowledgeable, But your head is shaped like a football. You resemble fborfwlover, except for the serene and knowledable part"
Doc, telepathing:"You have an ugly old man face. Btw, unlike your husband, I'm a real Doc. O.k., I guess not a real Doc, only PhDs are real Docs. And as if I give a crap how you're doing. I'm transferring you to Lum, not the Doc-in training, but the corner store grocer"

Doc:"The good news, I suppose, is your getting better. And you did it without your daughter, who shuffled you off to your wife when things threatened to get messy. Remarkably, Elly did it by utterly convicing herself that she has been an angel towards you. On the bad side, alot of resources have been expended on an old man who's gonna die soon anyhow."
Gramps, writing his thoughts down:"Doc, if I could extend my life by 1 month by killing 10 healthy babies, I would. And don't you forget it asshole. Love, Jim"

Liz:"I called this meeting to inform you of April's abuse of crack. And to show off my heavenly eyes, plush lips and resplendent locks"
John:"Buggery eh? Thanks for the set-up Liz. In this family, we say things to which we can readily respond with a pun, even if those pun-able set-ups usually don't make sense"
Elly:"And get the fuck out of this house, you're in late 20s loser"

Liz:"More kisses, more hugs, more kisses, more huggies.."
*Paul places phone between legs, farts directly into receiver*
Liz:...
Paul:"I know my timings off, but.."
*Liz rips a wet one into phone*
Paul:"That's my girl"

Merrie:"Mommy, his nose his 'uuugeeeee. And I wanna see plumber's crack, I can't see dat with coveralls"
Plumber:"Well, folks, what you got clogging up yer pipes, as we backwoods-talkin' plumbers like to say, is a big ol' pile of turd. And some 'domes. You know, maybe it ain't my business to say so, but if yer ol' lady got her plumbing tied, you wouldn't see no 'domes down there. Unless you got a little something on the side, if you know what I'm saying, hehe"
Michael:"You mean Merrie?"
Plumber:"O.k....I think I'm feeling uncomfortable"

Hey die fborfw lovers! Here's your chance to contribute to the cause of (dis)abled-coloured-trans-queer-womyn. How has society oppressed you and caused all your troubles? Are you gender-fucked? How are you boxed in by identities, such as pussy and penis? Do you label yourself as self-identifer? Well stop labeling, you bigoted ho-bag.
As long as your 100 word essay is anti-racist,feminist, (dis)ability, queer AND trans-friendly. That's right, 'AND'. If you fail to mention any of these causes, and 300 other causes, we will consider you indifferent to their plights and will send Pedro, the one-armed freak from OLOF, to beat you over the head with his arm stub.

3. THIRD SPACE SUBMISSIONS - deadline Friday January 5th

DEADLINE EXTENDED!!!

THIRDSPACE (anti-racist feminist zine), produced By the Womyn’s Publication Netwerk
Out of: University of Victoria, Women’s Centre.

We urgently need your submissions for our next issue!

The theme is "IDENTITY, CREATION, & RESISTANCE"

SOME IDEAS MAY INCLUDE (BUT NOT LIMITED TO):

* self-identification
* what do you self-identify as?
* resisting labels
* what are some labels people assume you are?
* how do they apply it without your consent?
* do people expect you to perform those stereotypes?
* intersecting identities
* (e.g. being a woman of colour, queer, trans-gendered, an immigrant,
* artist, musician, low-income, middle/upper class, single parent, activist,
* and/or so forth)
* living within a variety of spaces/roles/cultures/expectations/etc.
* how do those pressures affect your goals or daily life?
* what do identity politics mean to you?
* how can one’s identity be privileged or oppressive?
* how do you create your resistance?
* what makes you “you”?

THIRDSPACE accepts: comics, poetry, short fiction, artwork, rants, creative
non-fiction, book/film/music reviews, drawings, photography,
graphics…Basically anything you got! As long as it is anti-racist,
feminist, (dis)ability, queer and trans-friendly J

· Label “Thirdspace Submission” on your e-mail entries!
· written submissions should be no more than 1500 words.
· artwork should be printable in black and white
· please include contact info and bio (about 3-5 sentences long)
· should not be previously published

Plz note: we reserve the right to edit and submission does not guarantee
publication.

To submit! / Got Questions? More Information? ~ Due: January 5, 2006 ~

E-MAIL: thirdspaceuvic@riseup.net

MAIL: thirdspace, University of Victoria, P.O. Box 3035 Stn CSC,
Victoria, BC, Canada, V8W 3P3

UVic's anti-racist feminist publication
Julie S. Lee – Editor 2006 - 2007

SUB B107a, University of Victoria
Victoria, BC, V8P 5C2
Phone: 721-8353, Fax: 472-4379
Email: thirdspaceuvic@riseup.net

Now Available for Download at http://uvss.uvic.ca/thirdspace
Check out some previous issues online!