die fborfw

Paul:"I'll apply but I have a concern. When I see me an Iroquois down there, I can't help but arrest his red ass. It's like black cops who target blacks. Society really fucks us up."
Liz:"Yeah, I have a concern too, my parents really hate engines."
*Whappa whap whappa*
L:"Hey, that's sweet timing. I'm so outta here. Later fucker"

I really seem to be prescient regarding future comics/web pics, although I don't know what prescient means. I was pretty close with the spelling, I knew there were two vowels. I wonder if she has a poo palace or just a poo box?

Liz:"Let me chink. Just let me chink!"
P: *giggle* "You're still a charmer, Liz, even in times of hunky consternation....tsch,tsch, her Emmy!! I mean Schimsaa"
L:"Emmy?!? Are you sleeping with Mel?"
P:"No, Gretel. Unrelatedly, I would be willing to move to Ottawa, a delightful wannabe trombonist scene there, I mean wannabe flutist scene, I mean wannabe conductor scene, I mean wannabe peanist scene, I mean penis scene...oops, music scene"
L:"Suddenly I crave turkish delight"

Each eyes the other suspiciously

Missing first panel:
Paul:"It's good to see you text-messaged me about this. All bitches are cowards."
Liz:"Why are you wearing war paint?"
P:"No reason"
....
Missing last panels, first of the last features a wiggling of Paul's left arm.
Liz:"Are you masturbating"
P:"A lil", Paul continues, deepening his look of hunky consternation.
Suddenly Paul whips out his hand and with a beat face (top teeth over bottom lip):"nnnmmmmmmmmmmm"
L:"ooooooooooowwww, you scalped me!"

With a firm, sage countenance and eyes beating through spectacles, says Viv: "A compromise between Spruce Narrows/Mtigwaki and Toronto should be reached. Geographically, okay weighted more towards here, is Timmins. Gogama? Okay, okay: Angus. Home of concussed lil bastards and hung-over everybody, in particular soccer teams. There will be hunky referees who drunkely displace their sisters from their beds (after walking and projecting vomit simultaneously) and puke in the shower and sit on the shower floor and drink pop. Not to mention underwear EVERYWHERE."

Viv:"You don't know whether you're coming or cuming"
Liz:"What???"
Viv:"Woah, sorry, glue-flashback. What the hell are you doing in my house anyway? Oh yeah, I'd been hoping you would come. Why did I hope that anyway? Oh yeah, I have empathy for you and we're one big, tight-knit community that gets together and chatserinos about our problems over steaming cups o' joe."


Lynn has down-pat the language of youth, but would April really use "an'" in an email?
"Dear Liz: We've changed our band-name to 4 G.G. I defecate in Eva's hand and she tosses it at our loyal fans."

Just call me Nostradamus, except for the well-bosomed part, though I sense a well-hung pig. I've heard pigs have penises that coil up and that the cheapest bacon is made of pig penis.

"Yo Doc P., I think the pigs is on yo ass"
"I ain't no Doc. I'm a dentist, and a bad one at that. Just ask Gloria."

Officer with bounitful bosom:"Sir, do you know how fast you was going?"
Doc P.:"Why do pigs always ask that? Obviously I was speeding, give me the ticket and don't lord it over me. You're just a wannabe detective who gets stuck watching traffic. Go fuck your fat face."

4 days of the same strip. Sweet. Let's talk about how bitches rag all the time in the next 4.
"Yeah bro, chicks are always raggin' bitches. I can't think of any clever analogy, like the guy-cowboy connection I somehow know about. But I can tell you one thing, bro: them bitches is raggin'."


John enters, "Hey kids, I know what you mean. I think about punching people all the time."
April:"Dad, this is my black friend, Eva"
John: "Hey, aren't you Aunt Jemima?"

giggle, such wry commentary on boys. Truly, men are from Mars, women are from my anus.
An' isn't Eva suppposed to be black? An' aren't they in Mississauga? Mississauga is Nihar-land, yet in the strips you only see occassional coloured folk an' never an 'east' Indian. Racist whore. Time to draw in some turbines.

"Grandma, why do you touch me there?"
"Well, good-looking, when you're healthy, Grandma can do as she wishes with you"
then last panel
thennnnnnnn cut

Elly: "Here, let me take your wart..I mean cup..I mean wart..I mean wart"


Wa' spoon?


Wa' spoon?

Soon we will find out that Lovey is Lovey Patterson.
Cute bum. Guess to whom I refer.

I hate to sully this site with a non-fborfw comic, but I couldn't help noticing the resemblance between gretel and dil's e-date

Gawd, I wish my face was that chair.
Couldn't the sticker-giving culprit be Grandma Patterson? No, no, even tiny sins like that are credited to mother-in-law.
I have a tremendous desire to violate the Pattersons, from the young to the old ones.

"So send my e-love, sistwerp. I always prefer to communicate my deep parental feelings via sistwerp via internet. Oh wait, we don't have internet up here. Love sistwerp."


Handsome engine bf/pig:"Put out?"
Liz:"I'm cramping, as my folded arms were supposed to indicate. When it rains, it pours, baby."

It looks like Liz has gone down several waist sizes but the fat has been transferred to her thighs and ass.

Liz:"Do you mean someone has to sow their seed in my bush?"
Wizened old bitch:"No, no, slut. Forget it."

Pretty hard to handle?? Why, because she says gang-erino on occasion? Where's the promiscuity from April the fans are craving?